You dont count the cost
by Pando
Summary: Read it after Blessings ! Summary: Christmas is approaching and Summer has decided to sing her songs for the audience, but something goes wrong just before the show... A song by Billy Dean gave me the idea: thanks, Billy!


**YOU DON`T COUNT THE COST**

**December 2008**

``Mum?`` Summer poked her head through the door of the office ``Can you spare me two minutes?``

Jaime smiled and took off her spectacles, leaving them on the book ``Come in…``

Her daughter sat down but she didn`t seem to be at her ease. ``Mum, can you come to THIS side of your desk, please?``

_Cool it, Jaime. She`s on edge. Handle with care_. She joined the girl, took a chair and sat in front of her ``Should I start worrying?``

``No… but I`m sure you`ll get angry.``

``Angry, uh? Try me.``

``There`s something I`ve hidden and I don`t know why. Sometimes I write songs. I didn`t think it was important, till… well, I mean… next Sunday I should sing one of them in the Christmas show, at school. I still don`t know how Mr. Wills could convince me…``

``He`s a wonderful teacher. He has a special gift… Why didn`t you tell me? Half Ojai speaks about it… Yes, don`t look at me with those big blue eyes. I`ve been told by a couple of teachers, 3 or 4 parents and also one of my patients. I`m not angry, but I`m a little bit disappointed. Why, Summer?``

The answer came as a whisper and it was exactly what Jaime was expecting to hear: ``Oscar…``

``I had imagined it. But let me speak as a doctor, just for a moment: you`re lucky. You`ve found a wonderful way to handle and express your feelings. A very special way.``

``Ok, doc. Enough. But now everyone is going to listen to my song! Well, HIS song.

I`m not sure I`m glad to share it``

Jaime got up and took one of Steve`s jeans-coats ``I guess we both need to run off something! Why don`t we finish our chat riding with Spirit and Sirius?

``Better if I ride Spirit and you follow running! Ah…`` Summer didn`t manage to dodge a feigned smack thrown by her mother.

``Will you stop it someday, you little brat?``

``Not a chance, ma`!``

Steve was in the paddock, helping doctor Young with Paula, a 8 year-old girl who was approaching horses for the first time. They were explaining her that she wasn`t going to ride immediately. First they were going to teach her how to take care of the animals.

``Look, Steve, your women are on the run. And they ride like mad!``

Steve chuckled ``Mother-daughter matters. I don`t want to meddle in it, it`s too dangerous!`` He stood for a while, looking at those two fair-haired arrows, already far on the hill path.

It was almost 6 p.m. when one of the journalists of The Ojai Valley News received an email from his wife, who worked at the Police Station: ``Today 16.30 car accident near Lake Casitas Recreational Area. A blue or black pick-up run into a woman riding a horse. She fell just before the impact, but she was unconscious when they carried her by helicopter to California Hospital Med Center – L.A.

Name: Jaime Sommers Austin – director of the Rehabilitation Center with Horses (isn`t she the former tennis pro?).

Her daughter is unhurt. The driver run away. They`ll find him, his car must be seriously damaged. He might be injured himself.

A vet had to kill the horse, that hasn`t been removed yet. Hope you won`t come back too late.``

The journalist got up and called out for a friend who worked with him.

``One of us to Lake Casitas, the other one to Los Angeles!``

Robin was speaking with her well-known professional tune:

``As far as bionic is concerned, everything is ok. My colleagues have just finished their scan. She has been injured on her left flank. She has two fractures in her wrist, but they are simple fractures, we won`t have to operate. There are two cracked ribs: painful but not dangerous.

We don`t know when she`ll wake up, we found a cerebral edema due to the commotion. It`s not very wide. We`re giving her some medicines to lower the pressure in her brain. He also had breath problems but it`s a normal symptom, we`re helping her. We can`t do anything else but wait… at least 24 hours, Steve.

Now I must go and look for someone who can take care of the children, I`ll be back as soon as possible.``

``Thank you Robin. But I want you to stay at home tonight. Please, send Michael. I need him. Can I see Jaime?``

``If I would try to forbid you to go, would it work? I`ve already allowed Summer``

Summer was near her mother`s bed when Steve joined her and put his hands on her shoulders. ``It`s time for you to go… Michael`s arriving. He will take you to Ojai. I`ve spoken with Ashley`s mum and she said you can stay with them as long as we need``

``I don`t want to go, daddy. Please, let me stay!``

``You can`t. You know it… If you really wants to help her, go back to Ojai, back to school and back to your rehearsal for the Christmas show.``

``How could I think of the show?``

``You have to. Because your mother will be there next Sunday!``

``Don`t treat me as a little child! Look at her! You`re trying to reassure me but you`re worried and scared!``

Steve pretended he wouldn`t hear: `` When you go home to take your clothes and books, take mum`s telephone. She always leave it somewhere in the kitchen. Keep it turned on, I`ll call and type messages, I promise.``

``Can stay a few minutes more? Alone with her…``

As her father went out, Summer took a red marker from nurses` penholder and sat down near Jaime`s left arm.

Later on, when Steve came back, he stood in amazement seeing a big red stain on Jaime`s plaster. He went closer and discovered a sort of Japanese cartoon of a girl playing the guitar. Beside it, a balloon with a writing in big block capitals ``I love you, mum!``

Only at that moment Steve surrendered to emotions.

It was half past midnight when Michael parked his car in front of Ashley`s house. Summer had kept a stubborn silence during the journey. At home she had thrown the telephone and some clothes in her backpack at random after feeding Million and hadn`t said a single word.

Michael hated to play the part of the wise elder brother but he decided to take his chances. ``Try to forgive him, Summer``

She still stood silent and frowny.

``He`s not so strong and brave with regard to your mother. When she`s in trouble he can`t even reason anymore.``

Silence.

Michael took a deep breath. ``He`s scared. He won`t move from that bed even if it would take a very long time. He won`t eat, he won`t sleep until she`s right. You couldn`t help. And he couldn`t help you.``

``Right beside them is where I should stay! And he sent me away…``

Summer took her bag and run away, slamming the door.

Michael waited until she went into her friend`s house.

``You`re welcome, beloved sister. My pleasure. A good night to you, too.``

Steve couln`t recall when exactly he had realized that she was awake. She tried to speak and immediately stopped. Her eyes were full of fear, so he spoke for both, trying to calm her down: ``Don`t worry sweetheart… You`ll be ok. Summer is ok. I`m here with you and I love you…``. A minute later she was unconscious again.

Steve passed the rest of the night gazing at her face, until he felt asleep with his head close to her arm.

``It aches…``

Steve started when he heard her voice

``Where?``

``Everywhere…``

``Welcome back, Jaime. You gave me one of the worst frights of my whole life``.

``I guess… now I should say: what happened?``

``Don`t you remember?``

``No, sorry…``

Steve felt like someone had killed him.

``But I remember you, don`t worry… You`re the love of my life, my husband, my best friend``.

``Oh, Jaime, I feel better now!``

``I don`t. It aches a lot when I take a breath and I feel sick``

``You shouldn`t move your head or it will get worse``

``Please, tell me what happened…``

``Only the general idea, honey. You can`t distress yourself``.

The hall was crowded with students coming out from the refectory.

Summer was sitting on the ground, with the telephone in her hands. She was nibbling at her lip so Carlos started to worry.

He really cared about her: he was happy to share his days with her, at school or working as the youngest volunteer in the rehabilitation center, although he was not so glad about her persistence in introducing him as her best friend.

``Summer, I found you! How is your mother?``

``Dad called me at 7. She woke up last night but she couldn`t speak. Now I`ve just received this message: I SPOKE WITH MUM. NO MEMORIES OF THE ACCIDENT. SHE SAID SHE LOVES YOU TOO. ANY MOVEMENT PAINFUL. SHE`LL CALL YOU ASAP``

``Not bad! You should be happy!``

``Can I trust him? He sent me away, don`t forget.``

Carlos made a dubious expression but decided to keep silent.

``Carlos? Would you do something crazy for me?``

_If you knew!_ he thought, but he said ``How much… crazy, exactly?``

``Would you come with me to L.A.? If we hurry up we can catch the bus, reach the hospital, see my mother and come back before supper! Ashley`s mum won`t worry if I call and say that I`m studying with you…``

``You mean… run away from school!``

``Don`t tell me that you`ve never faked your parents` signature!``

``But how could we reach the hospital?``

``Look at this phone: internet connection! I downloaded a map. My mother uses it as a nick-nack for the kitchen, it`s a pity! I think I won`t give it back… So, do you come?``

Carlos spoke with a resigned tune: ``Why me?``

``Why not?``

_Sure, why not? What else?_

``Your father will kill you. Can I inherit your guitar?``

``No way! I want it in my grave!``

``Summer! Don`t run! You can`t run in a hospital! And your mother won`t go anywhere…``

She didn`t reply, but stopped in front of a door.

``It`s OK. There`s only my sister-in-law… We might survive, after all.``

When they broke into the room, Jaime opened her eyes.

``Ma`, I`m here. How do you feel?``

Robin stopped her: ``Cool it, Summer. Don`t make her move.

Come here, closer, so she can see you without moving her head.``

``How did you come here?``

``I wouldn`t ask, if I were you, doc`` Carlos said

`` Hi, Carlos! You came, too! Is it something that I could tell your mother?``

``I`m afraid it isn`t. But I call upon professional secrecy.``

``We`ll see it later. Summer, I shouldn`t say it, but I`m glad you`re here!``

She lifted her hand and skimmed her daughter`s cheek. ``Thank you for the drawing, it`s cool! But I`ll take it around for many weeks and everyone will see it. Won`t you lose your reputation?``

``It serves me right, mum. `I`m so sorry… I did a lot of stupid quips on… you know what… I hadn`t the right…``

``It`s ok. Don`t worry. Listen, I managed to convince your father to go away with Michael, but after a shower and a quick meal I`m afraid he`ll be back. You must vanish before he realizes you`ve been here. But when I`ll be back home we`ll have to speak about it. OK?

Robin, please, will you make sure that they reach Ojai?

See you at the show, Summer!``

Robin rolled her eyes: ``You`re kidding, I hope!``

``No, Robin… I`ll go to the show next Sunday, with or without your permission``

``Come on, Summer… Now I understand why you are so stubborn. It`s not your fault, it`s simply DNA!``

Mr. Wills was a spare bald man, around sixty, with round glasses and funny old fashioned clothes which provided him the nickname of ``living cartoon``.

For a bad trick of fate he had had two wives and no children, so he devoted all his time to his students, arranging theatrical performances, groups of reading or trips.

Boys and girls knew that he could be very strict, but they trusted him by instinct and look for his help in any need. He had discovered Summer`s fondness for music during a trip, two months sooner, but he had waited to do any proposal, feeling that the girl considered it as a private, intimate matter.

Then, when she had just decided to share it with everyone, she risked collapsing after her mother`s accident.

Mark Wills was worried when he found Summer in a corner behind the scenes, grasping her guitar, just ten minutes before the show.

``Summer! Here you are! Are you concentrating? Or are you scared to death?``

He sat at her side on the floor.

``I used to be scared. I didn`t want to go out there and sing. I was afraid to show and share my feelings… But last Monday I realized what fear really is. I saw my mum unconscious and injured… I thought I was going to lose her. I saw my dad`s heart shattered, I realized that they can`t live if you keep them apart. Now I know that they`re more fragile than they seem to be``.

``How is she, now?``

``She has just arrived, I saw her two minutes ago. She came into the theatre on her feet. She also managed to smile when my father helped her to sit down.``

``She`s a great lady. She`s always been.``

``Have you known her for long?``

``We shared some classes in our freshmen year in this school. You know, we were in love with her, everyone of us was! Sad to say, there was always someone else, around her… above all a boy of the senior year! You know, brawny, good athlete, enigmatic blue eyes…. Hey, the very same eyes that YOU have! What a coincidence!``

Summer chuckled and looked at her teacher, grateful for that light and nice moment.

``Somehow I`ve always known that I was going to meet a student with HIS surname and HER face in my classroom…``

``Tell me the truth. Could I find someone in this town who wasn`t in love with my mother?``

``Mmm, let me think… some of the girls, maybe…``

``Oh, my God!``

``Let`s go, Summer! It`s five to eight. The principal wants to gather us before the show.``

``I don`t know how…``

``Don`t say it! Let`s go…``

(Billy Dean wrote it! Listen to it at

.com/watch?v=CF474Kl1BJM)

_It happens to a mother when she is giving birth._

_Her heart is filled with joy, while her body`s filled with hurt._

_She holds the baby close to her despite the pain he caused._

_When it comes to love, you don`t count the cost._

_It happens to a soldier fighting for his home._

_Fear wells up inside him and yet he still goes on_

_Even though he knows he may be the the next to fall_

_When it comes to love, you don`t count the cost._

_You don`t count the heartache, you don`t count the sacrifice_

_And all that counts is what you feel inside_

_It doesn`t really matter what is gained or what is lost_

_When it comes to love, you don`t count the cost._

_It happens all around us each and every day_

_Someone`s giving all they`ve got for someone else`s sake._

_If you ever doubt it, just think about the cross_

_When it comes to love, you don`t count the cost._

_You don`t count the heartache, you don`t count the sacrifice_

_And all that counts is what you feel inside_

_It doesn`t really matter what is gained or what is lost_

_When it comes to love, you don`t count the cost._

The audience was cheering, but Steve didn`t want to leave Jaime`s hand. She was still, her eyes closed, her head on the back of the armchair… He knew that she was fighting against tears (``Mum, PLEASE, swear you won`t cry!`` ).

Steve was the only one who had seen Oscar on the stretcher before they carried him away, the day he saved Summer and lost his life. Someone had lifted the sheet and asked him to confirm identity and address. Then everybody had left him alone near Oscar: strange to say, Steve was struck by his calm and satisfied expression.

_Wherever you are, Oscar, tonight you surely smile._

Summer came back home late, after a dinner with teachers and schoolmates.

``Damned dog, he must have awoke everyone!`` She was running barefoot on the stairs, with shoes in her hands and the guitar hanging on her back. ``Silly, foolish dog!``

She saw a light from her parents` room so he dared to appear at the door.

``Sorry, daddy! Million is a hopeless matter, I`m afraid`` she whispered.

``Don`t worry, mum`s asleep.``

Summer looked at Jaime: she was sleeping peacefully, with her head on Steve`s shoulder and her left hand in plaster on his chest.

``She looks so placid``

``She`s ok, honey, you can relax.

You`ve been stunning at the show, we`re proud of you. But we have been great, too: we didn`t cry, as we promised. Even if we had such a… whirl, right inside here! Do you understand?``

``You bet! Dad?``

``Tell me…``

``It`s worth while, isn`t it?``

``Yes, it is. You said it : when it comes to love…``

Summer stopped him:

``Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. What if we sleep a little longer?``


End file.
